Now that you have it by HIS hand and in HIS name, you might as well have the real scoop.  For those of you Who Were THERE, but weren’t there at the meeting:

Since many of you were not there, including our lovely scribe with neat handwriting, you’re all stuck with my minutes:

Zombies (no further relevant note).

Topic: the Guard org structure and how to prune it banzai style. -What’s up with these squads? our noobs asked.

1)Birdies- Started by the walking wounded who like to shoot Phelan in the back of the head and rain death on our enemies. (called sacred dibs on Runya in a big damn hurry.)
2) Stellis, our penultimate newest squad currently in a hiring freeze while bonehunters gobbles the new recruits because…

3) Bonehunters – the squad started by the old guys too teach the young guys guile, cunning, etc

4) Said young guys such a tryst, theo, sniffles, who are starting a new unit… Sirius offered to mentor in the getting-something-awesome-set -up-process.  They need there own unit ’cause the rest of us think running like a greyhound sucks.

5) Lowlife guard, who were notably absent unless Thatch is one of them.  Who include Roggan and Gangles and some others I didn’t write down who are all furious mobile fighters.

Squiggly arrow thing to mark the end of the digression.

Discussion: How to wolfpack better-  Train it more.  Specifically learn to fight with the different components S/B, red, pokey, so that we can be like interchangeable parts when folks aren’t around.  Pick up S/B is a good practice because anyone with a shield can block missiles and give support weapons time to make others cry.

Runya and Visitaur asked for Drill.  That’s right these noobs want to learn to ‘do it right’ (TM, patent pending).

ACTION: Drill-o-Sarus to put together a list (one assumes with references and instructions) for how to do various technical drills for good training.

ACTION- Sarus and Grey volunteered to to Run drill at 12:00 until we are all fit, i.e. forever.  Sarus promised not to get his dick caught in the door. Next week will start with shield drill.

Note:  Drak is apparently learning fancy sword tricks.

Everyone is working on building up their squads.

Plato and Ordo need to make a squad choice or risk ASSIGNMENT.  Visataur too. I didn’t hear dibs.

Squiggly Arrow thing.

Discussion: Improve website content:  Marl is going to update us technologically to at least 2007 by bringing the site up in WordPress (edited to add: where you are reading this now, so we accomplished at least one thing from this meeting).  Various folk (Phelan Runya, Ljuda, others?) Volunteered to be wordpress authors and write copy.

Content needs to be updated to say who guard is now.  Rogues gallery to be updated with names ranks awards (I believe of scribe has a list) and organized by squad rather than rank.  Should include those Guard who are gone but not forgotten because their misdeeds are seered into the mind’s eye.

Runya volunteered to help organize the Guardlist folders.  Ah the sweet agony of other peoples suffering.

Subunits will have pages on new site.  Hear that stellis, we need to write something for PUBLIC consumption. and I don’t mean tuberculosis.

ACTION: Straw update your google cal, because apparently just looks at what you are doing.  ::Shudder::

Discussed the requirement that all GFC need something; tabard, tunic, sash, in guard colors (that is navy trimmed in gray FYSA)

Discussed nuking the garb bag because it is unused and unloved… devolved into a conversation about fundraising.

Astrid noted we could spend money on things like storage if only we had money.

Sirius, Phelan and Straw agreed to brainstorm fundraising with ljuda so the rest of that digression doesn’t need to be here.

Squiggly line (too tired for Squiggly arrow)

ACTION:  Runya the masochist guardwench agreed to run the wheel and rose at Koom Valley, 8/11.  The rest of you agreed to bring things.  I know I was there.  YOU DID.  No welching.

Line.  No squiggles.


Marl was  awarded some nifty kutriguri award for website whiteknight awesomeness.  Also the Order of the Anvil for professional service to Dag.  That’s right Marl serviced all of KurtriGuri.

Phelan was made a Lieutenant.  These people are mad.  Like a hatter, not like a kicked bees’ nest.  Apparently this means I get to enter a regulation in the Book. Now Therefore Be it known therefore that per regulation NCC1701D: Any Guardling can establish an award by defining the award criteria, and providing those criteria to the scribe, then designing the award and providing the first dozen j’tai to the commandant.

Dredge – Order of Hannibal for carrying his kidney stones over the mountains to Rag.

Phelan awarded an eggplant for a two year old busted wrist.  Eggplant handed over to Sirius so that he can make more.  Dredge also making more.  Cuz that is how many hospital visits we had at rag.


Ugly drawing of square labyrinth.  Ugly drawing of round labyrinth with a wedge shaped death funnel.

Discussion: Battles for Koom Valley.

Phelan had a weird dream where GvG battle happened in a labyrinth.  There were mice.  and Minotaurs.  Then Dredge shot me and a troll conked me on the noggin and I woke up.  Or something like that.

Big events at Koom will involve a labyrinth.  Mice and cheeze: 3 team rez, mice try to steal the cheese and bring it back to their rez. Mice and Minotaurs: Details TBD, but minotaurs defend the maze. Holy Point in center of Labyrinth.  GVG with Labyrinth.  Then open death funnel in Labyrinth and do a HotGates battle.

Long practice next week while we get this right.

Gray and Phelan and coffee will get new bails next sunday.

Squiggly line.

Discussion:  Stellis nominated to ensure guard feast efforts at althyng go swimmingly.

Ham. Watermelon. Cobbler.

Yes.  That is how this meeting felt.


Word count: 986