Member Bio

Vega’s journey begins when at the age of 16 he came across a white goose who had an affinity for stealing fine hats.  Vega, who had an especially fine hat gifted by a distant relation, found himself the victim of this goose’s gander.

Chasing the goose for 40 days and 40 nights, Vega successfully retrieved his once fine hat and enjoyed a feast of roast goose, sautéed goose liver, friend goose feet, buffalo goose wings, boiled goose beak, puréed goose stomach, gravy, and lightly salted goose tongue.

The next morning, upon waking on a fine bed made of goose down, Vega found himself utterly lost and unable to retrace his steps.  Adding a goose feather to his ruined hat, he set off in the first direction he gazed upon.

The following eleven years were heady and filled with adventure.  Accidentally banishing the dragon Níðhöggr to the roots of the world tree, shattering and reforging the sword Sugari No Ontachi, a stumbling stint as Captain of the Ankh-Morpork guards (before being ejected due to an excess of common sense) and an unspeakable stage performance rank among the highlights of his career.  The details of Vega’s stage performances have been officially banned from all known kingdoms.  Even speaking the name has been labelled an act of High Treason, and the speaker is immediately put to death.  All that is known of the piece is that it involved a grapefruit, 14 silver sitting chars, and a cat named Lieutenant Meowmers.

After a particularly rousing performance of this work, Vega found himself travelling to the next town in which he was scheduled to perform.  Captain Meowmers, recently promoted, was travelling elsewhere on business of his own.

Unfortunately, lying in wait to bar his bath, was the Order of the Fallen Gooses.  Unbeknownst to Vega, the goose which he had chased all those years ago had left behind a rather large extended family.  None too bright, the geese never-the-less swore a vow that none of their bloodline should rest until the slayer of their progenitor was brought to account.  As a result, their knowledge of proper grammar was severely lacking.

The Order had attempted for generations to bring Vega down.  Many attempts involving complex catapults, poisoned daggers, and the League of Exploratory Pigeon brain surgeons had all proved fruitless.  Countless members of the Order had lost their lives in these attempts and, at the annual remembrance festival to honor the glorious dead, their names were read from the list of bad things Vega had done, further hardening the Order to their eventual goal.

On this day, the Order would enact their most brilliant and devious plot to date.  They would defecate along Vega’s path, wait for him to invariably slip upon it and when he had fallen upon the ground, pounce upon the fallen villain.  all went exactly according to plan.  Trailing behind Vega, the Order of the Fallen Gooses with knives drawn, they watched as Vega began his descent with rapt attention.  However, the geese trailed too closely, and Vega fell upon the entire Order, crushing them dead as he struck his head upon a rock in the road.

Rising much as he had 11 years prior, Vega rose covered in goose gore and feather with no idea as to his location.  His memory completely blank, Vega once again picked a direction, and struck out to find his fate wherever it may lie.